Girl realizes she doesn't want to be with boyfriend anymore, doesn't want to break up with him until their lease is up: 'I don’t want to leave my bf alone with the cost of rent & utilities'.

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Jan 21, 2025 7:00 AM EST

Moving in with a partner is a huge step to take in a relationship, and there are a lot of differing opinions on when would be the best time to make that decision. A lot of people would say that you shouldn't move in with a partner unless you're sure you see yourself being with them long-term. That being said, people also say it's important to live with your partner before committing to them long-term because you never know what it's like to live with someone until you do it for real. There are exceptions to every rule: some people who move in together, sure they're in it for the long haul, don't last more than a year. Others never move in with their partner and share wonderful but separate lives. Whatever the case, most people will tell you that you must, under any circumstances, try your best to avoid the infamous Lease Break.

Unfortunately for one girl, she's reached the point in her relationship where she can no longer see a future with her boyfriend. She's made up her mind, but there's now the looming question of what do we do about the apartment? She goes to Reddit for advice. See what they had to say here.


 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10456537088
    via Alban Martel
  • 02

    "WIBTAH for waiting to break up with my bf until we’re closer to the end of our lease?"

    I (f22) have been with my bf (m25) for 2 years & things have been great. He's my first official relationship, so I've had a lot of firsts with him. We moved in together after 5 months of dating (early, I know).
    via larryfisherstein
  • 03
    Overall I would say this is a healthy relationship. We tend to communicate pretty well & we rarely argue. On one hand I have calmness & stability with him, but on the other hand I don't know where the passion in our relationship went.
    via larryfisherstein
  • 04
    Only weeks before I met & started dating him, I was still sending my last texts to & blocking a 43 year old man who had been grooming me for the past 7 months. Looking back, I think I needed time to myself before getting into something with another guy after that experience. I went to therapy for a while to work through what happened with the older man, but ultimately couldn't continue sessions due to financial reasons, meaning I feel I still have unresolved trauma to work through in that regard
    via larryfisherstein
  • 05
    My bf has done nothing wrong. He's been great to me over these 2 years. But I feel like I may have gotten into this relationship before I was ready to. If I'm being totally honest, part of me wants to be single again because I feel like I'm missing out on some experiences I want to have in my 20s before I settle down. I feel like maybe we aren't as good of a match as I initially thought we were.
    via larryfisherstein
  • 06
    My bf doesn't like to go out. At all. This man will even avoid grocery shopping if I don't do it with him. I understand social anxiety & not wanting to be around a lot of people, but I'll admit I get sad when he tells me he'd rather stay home than go out with me for a date. Even on our 1st anniversary he refused to take me out to dinner, so I got takeout for us instead.
    via larryfisherstein
  • 07
    I don't know where the spark went. He doesn't seem as interested in me anymore & in return that just makes me pull away. I know that relationships take work, but this lack of passion is leading me to remember how quickly I settled into this relationship straight out of something else that was predatory & ab ive. I think I still owe time to myself without a partner to recover from that.
    via larryfisherstein
  • 08
    I've pretty much decided that I want to end this relationship & move back to my home state to be with my family, but I'm stuck in a lease with my bf that won't end til this summer (July/August).
    via larryfisherstein
  • 09
    WIBTAH if I waited until closer to the end of our lease rather than right now to break up with him? Obviously I want to give him enough time to make his own arrangements for when we split, but I don't want to spend months living with him as an ex in a 1 bedroom apartment just to finish the lease either.
    via larryfisherstein
  • 10
    Realistically, I have a friend who I know would let me stay with her if I needed to until I can move back home, but I don't want to leave my bf alone with the cost of rent & utilities.
    via larryfisherstein
  • 11
    For the sake of trying to keep this short, I'm doing my best to keep details to a minimum, but I'm open to answering any questions for clarification about my situation.
    via larryfisherstein
  • 12

    Here's where people in the comments weighed in

    Cheezburger Image 10456536832
    via timothybuck
  • 13
    YWBTA for waiting. If you are truly over your bf and not interested in salvaging the relationship then he deserves to know that sooner rather than later. You could move back in with your parents now and continue to help.your ex with the lease/rent if you're super concerned
    via larryfisherstein
  • 14
    I don't mean to be r de, but it sounds like maybe you have one foot in the door and one foot out and are still a bit unsure about this break up or part of you will miss your bf. Not breaking up in order to help him with the lease them becomes the perfect excuse
    via larryfisherstein
  • 15
    If you aren't 100% sure you're done, have a frank conversation. Tell him you are bored and want to explore new things. You can still do that while in a relationship unless the new things you want to explore are other people and their bodies (understandable). That would of course be a deal breaker
    via larryfisherstein
  • 16
    If the talk does nothing, you can still walk away. No harm, no foul. TLDR: Your bf deserves your honest communication. Sooner rather than later
    via larryfisherstein
  • 17
    You need to talk to him. Tell him now it would be an AH thing to wait. You can make arrangements for lease and what not but you'll only do more damage by waiting.
    via larryfisherstein
  • 18
    If the guy has done nothing but be good to you why or how could you sit there and pretend to still want to be with him when you don't? He doesn't deserve that.
    via larryfisherstein
  • 19
    The guy didn't do anything wrong you might not be happy anymore or want something different but he's done nothing to purposely hurt you or been dishonest with you why can't you give him the same respect?
    via larryfisherstein
  • 20
    Have you actually sat down and told him the issues you have with your relationship and gave him a chance to fix it while working on your part or did you just give up and start planning to leave him?
    via larryfisherstein
  • 21

    Seems like the commenters are wanted her to give him another chance...

    He's obviously more of a introvert but that doesn't mean he can't work on that and step out of his comfort. zone sometimes.
    via larryfisherstein
  • 22
    In my opinion yeah you would be a HUGE AH. if you're going to break his heart do it now don't wait until it's Convenient for you, if you actually care about this person, have the respect to tell them now.
    via larryfisherstein
  • 23
    WIBTAH for waiting to break up? You'd just be giving him the ultimate lesson in how to be a roommate with your ex. I mean, who doesn't want that experience on their resume?
    via larryfisherstein
  • 24

    The universe always has something to do with it

    You're telling me you want to break up with him but are stuck in a lease? The universe is trying to teach you patience.
    via larryfisherstein

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Dating-Relationships boyfriend AITAH reddit story relationships girlfriend breakup Reddit relationship drama dating
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